First off, my realtor called me Wednesday night (about 6 hours after I posted) to tell me the bank had signed the papers for the house! After all that worrying and waiting I finally gave it up to God and decided not to have it on my plate and then the waiting was over. Or at least the waiting to hear back about the papers. The inspection of the house wasn't scheduled for five long days (for today). But I'll get back to that in a minute.
Thursday afternoon I felt myself beginning to feel anxious AGAIN about the house and the inspection and so badly wanting it to be a blessing from God and not a patience opportunity. (Yes, just like I said before...I reeeeally struggle with patience!) I tried to pray and felt my mind drifting to thoughts such as: what if the bank covered up mold and we can't find it...or what if the walls are crumbling in areas that the inspector can't see....or what if there is some huge horrible secret that we don't know about and this will be a huge mistake!?
I finally snapped myself out of this downward spiral and looked back down to my bible that I had opened but had neglected to start reading yet. I am going through Hebrews and was at chapter 3. It only took me four verses to get to this beautiful verse that so spoke to my heart:
"For every house is built by someone, but God is the builder of everything." -Hebrews 3:4
That calmed me right down. How do I so easily forget that God is in control of this all? It was such a perfect reminder. He is so good to quiet my crazy heart and soothe my anxious spirit. Even better was the timing that my sister was coming into town that night and I was able to focus on having fun with her instead of finding unnecessary things to worry about.
Lauren got here late Thursday night and we had such a fun time together. I hadn't seen her in four months and was so thankful she could fly up here to visit. I love her! We got to go wine tasting on Saturday with Meghan Harvey (a friend all the way back from fourth grade!) and we also got special treatment from my friends who work at the wineries. It was a wonderful day and such a blessing to be in the company of two great girls. Here are some pictures of our time together!
Lauren was able to stay all the way until Sunday night and we got many hours of girl chatting in that were all so wonderful. It was also so great to have company here at the house while Derek was on night float and working at the hospital all night. It was perfect timing!
As for the inspection. That went on today. There is lots that needs to be fixed with the house. So much so that the bank will actually most likely have to agree to fix things on it before we can get approved for our loan on the house. In other words, another crazy situation. I left feeling a bit overwhelmed and down. I didn't want to give up on this being a blessing from God but I also didn't feel like praying about it for fear this was going to simply be another lesson in patience and growing for me (since I obviously need them!) and that it wont be a house for us.
When I got home I happened to look at Lysa Terkeurst's blog titled "Why am I scared to pray boldly?" She talks about how praying makes a difference, even if that difference is to change the person praying instead of God answering their prayer. It completely touched on exactly what I was feeling. It's so true. No matter what happens with this house, it has been a situation that has drawn me closer to Him, drawn me deeper into prayer, and grown me in so many ways. I am being honest that my heart does hope that this house will be a wonderful place for Derek and I to fix up and live in, but I completely trust that if it isn't then whatever God has for us instead is much better suited for us and for His plan. He has a plan and it is perfect. I will trust in that truth....and wait!