Silent Auction Fundraiser

This year I am helping plan, set up, and run the Bethany Christian Services annual Silent Auction and Banquet Fundraiser. I've helped the past 2 years but mostly in procuring donations for them and attending a meeting here or there. Last year was the first year I was able to attend the auction and it was SO much fun! It made me even more excited for this year...which is a good thing it did...because it has become largely planned by only a few of us volunteers. The whole process has been fun, overwhelming, exciting, and heartwarming. I am truly so excited for this event and to help out an organization that is so near and dear to my heart.

For those of you that don't know, Derek and I have been trying to have children for many years without success. We've gone through some fertility testing with basically no reasons for us not being able to get pregnant. A little over 2 years ago we decided to pursue adoption through Bethany Christian Services and prayed God would close the door if this wasn't His plan for us. I wanted so badly to become a mother but wanted it to be in God's timing and plan and we weren't sure what that was so we decided to move forward with adoption and pray God would make His plan clear for us. Well the day before we turned in our non-refundable deposit and paperwork to adopt, Ethiopia (where we were looking to adopt from) closed their adoptions. A month later they did open them back up but it was clear to us that this was not in the plans for us at that point in time. God gave us a clear answer. Since then we have prayed for what direction to take and He has made it abundantly clear that what we are supposed to do is to wait. Waiting is probably the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, especially when you don't even know what you're waiting for. But I do know that God is good and has given me a peace that I am right where I am supposed to be today doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing and that is an amazing feeling.

One of the many things God has brought into my life to fill my time and purpose is helping out with this fundraising event and I am so thankful for that. I have really enjoyed pouring my time and energy into it and have loved watching God work in it.

I would love for you to be a part of this event with me whether it is through attending the event, donating items, donating finances, or most importantly praying alongside with me that this event goes smoothly and is a great success! To purchase tickets for the event, donate, or simply read more about it please visit our event site at: http://bethanyoregonfundraiser.blogspot.com/

Thank you for your support!! I greatly appreciate it!!

"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." John 14:18 

"Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world." James 1:27

Here are a few links to past blogs about our journey through infertility, adoption, and waiting:
http://lindslog.blogspot.com/2011/03/being-bossy.html
http://lindslog.blogspot.com/2011/03/patience.html
http://lindslog.blogspot.com/2011/10/purpose.html
http://lindslog.blogspot.com/2012/12/the-holiday-season-always-makes-coping.html

Being Bossy

Expectations are premeditated resentments. ~Kristin Thompson

I had a funny experience this morning that reminded me of this quote. I was sitting here trying to have a quiet time while Bear kept shoving his little wet nose under my hand to pet him. I would pet him for a few minutes...stop...and the nose shoving and gruffing would begin again. I finally looked at him and said, "you are bossy!" In that instant, however, I realized that's how I am so often with God. I want something and I want it NOW. Or I want something in a specific way and THAT'S HOW I want it to happen!

Specifically in the area of children. (Yes we're going there again, sorry!) I always thought we would try to get pregnant and BAM within a month (or maybe a few) we'd be pregnant. When that didn't I happen I imagined all sorts of other options of how it would happen. I've finally (or at least for today) realized I don't know how or if it will happen and I'm not going to try to figure it out anymore either. I'm going to take it one decision at a time.

Let me back up for a second and fill in the details of what has progressed in my life as of recently....

Derek and I found that adoption was heavy on our hearts and we looked into the process. We prayed about it and felt that it was something God had placed there for a reason but we weren't sure of the timing. We decided to go forward with the meeting and filling out paperwork and prayed that if this wasn't God's timing for us that He would "close that door." We had the meeting...we were filling out the paperwork....but we hit a few speed bumps. We kept praying and kept moving forward.

Then we found out that Ethiopia has recently cut their adoptions down to almost none. No one knows right now whether this is a temporary or permanent situation. This happened basically the week before we were about to turn in our official application and processing fee. I'll be honest, I felt defeated, frustrated, and mad. I had thought this would be the way that we would meet our first child...and maybe it still will be, but not right this moment. We are still praying about it but feel that we are in a "wait status" for now. For about a week after this I tried to figure out God's plan and anticipated that maybe I was pregnant and THAT'S why this was happening! As of two days ago, no suck luck. Visited once again by that stupid period fairy. :)

However, there has also been another change in plans. Before all this I had not wanted to get tested for any fertility issues because I had somehow decided that was not MY plan as to how we would have a child. I don't like hospitals or doctors (yes, ironic) and therefore didn't feel the need to go have any testing because it seemed scary and I just plain and simple - didn't want to. I don't have an explanation other than I don't feel so anti anymore.

Long story short (I know, too late) I called to just go get a little minor ultrasound. A no big deal test with no pain and no big deal...just to start me off easy with this whole situation. Again...MY expectation. After talking with Tif (who's had this done) I realized I was actually set up for a pretty major test that is extremely painful and a very big deal. A hysterosalpingogram where they inflate a balloon in your uterus to check for abnormalities and inject dye into your fallopian tubes...all of which I have heard is not a fun experience.

After getting a little upset and frustrated that I wasn't going to have my easy plan of a little dinky ultrasound, and maybe throwing a little fit to God about how this isn't how the plan was supposed to go, I have decided to keep the test and get some answers about my body. Maybe it will lead to something and maybe not, but for now it will be worth it to at least have some answers and at least know if anything is wrong "down there." Maybe our first (or second) child is in Ethiopia and maybe somewhere else....but basically I'm not going to try and figure out those details anymore. I'm waiting, I'm praying, I'm doing what I feel God is leading me to do, and I'm waiting when I feel He's telling me to wait. I'm going to stop premeditating resentments and just start living without expectations. I'm going to go into that appointment on Wednesday and not expect (other than expecting pain!). God's in control and I'm so glad I'm not!

"Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain."
~Psalm 127:1

Bethany Annual Dinner & Silent Auction

This is the adoption agency that I have been volunteering at as well as the one we will be using for our adoption. They are an amazing group and have this annual fundraiser to provide the rest of the funds to run the business that are not covered through the adoption costs. They purposefully don't charge families as much as is needed to adopt to be able to keep the costs down and then fund-raise for the rest of the funds.

They need people to attend the event but also donations to pay for the event itself. If you, anyone you know, or any business would like to donate please let me know or email the agency below. Any donations of $500 or more will be recognized at the event. Also for donating businesses we can set out cards or flyers with information about them.

Thanks!!!

Bethany Christian Services'

Annual Dinner and Silent Auction
The Power of Love
Saturday, April 30, 2011
6 p.m.

We are pleased to announce that Bethany's Annual Banquet and Silent Auction will be held on April 30, 2011 at 6pm – one week before Mother's Day. Being so close to this special day, we are acknowledging the powerful impact of a parent’s love with this year's theme: The Power of Love. The proceeds from this event will help Bethany find families for children who need the love and nurturing of a permanent family.

Location

The banquet will be held in the Hawthorn Room at the lovely Mountain Park Recreational Center in Lake Oswego, Oregon.

Event Highlights
Silent Auction–Choose from a select group of quality items, including vacation packages. This is an excellent opportunity to go home with a fantastic item and to support Bethany at the same time.

Dinner–Savor every delicious morsel, from the tasty appetizers to the decadent desserts.

Speaker–A Northwest adoptive family will share their personal story. Although this presentation is brief, this is often the highlight of the evening.

Tickets and Registration

We would love for you to join us! Online registration and payment is coming soon, but you can RSVP anytime by contacting the Portland office at 503.200.5748 or by e-mailing oregonevents@bethany.org.

Register - Online Payment

Register - No Online Payment

Individual ticket price: $30.00
Host a Table of Eight: $240.00
Banquet Donor or Sponsor: $500 or more will get a special acknowledgement on the evening of the banquet.

Volunteers
Our volunteer team makes it all come together! Here is a sample of what volunteers can choose to do: procure auction items, invite guests, tell others about the event, set up the item display tables, decorate the venue, make centerpieces, register guests, and pack up at the end of the evening. If you have a willing heart, we have a project and a schedule that works for you! If you would like to help with this year's event, please call the Portland Office at 503.200.5748 or fill out our Volunteer Form.

Sponsors
We are currently seeking sponsors to help underwrite this year's banquet. By underwriting the costs of this event, businesses and individuals make it possible for all the funds raised during the evening to go directly to serving children and families through Bethany Christian Services’ programs. To learn more, please contact the Portland Office at 503.200.5748 or at oregonevents@bethany.org.

Why love orphans?

Saw this video and loved it. Had to share.

Why Love Orphans? from Christian Alliance for Orphans on Vimeo.

How God Changed My Heart In A Big Way

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
~Proverbs 3:5-6

I have been in a battle with God over the past few months and finally lost. He has been burdening my heart and I have tried with all my might to deny it and avoid it but have finally given up my own will for His. It's not that I meant to fight it, but apparently I am very good at convincing myself to be in denial when God is calling me to do big things. And I am amazed at how patient He is with me throughout it. I feel like I'm Bruce in the movie Bruce Almighty where he is praying for a "sign" and keeps running over literal signs that tell him the bridge is ending and doesn't even see them bouncing off the front of his car. That's me. Praying for God to show me His will, Him then answering, and me avoiding at all costs what my heart is telling me because it's not a subject I have not considered doing - it's one that I have literally said I would never do.

Adopt an orphan. A subject I have always thought was just fine and dandy for other people but not something I was made to do. Well this is the subject I have been battling over with God. I even went as far as contacting an adoption agency to volunteer because I was so convinced that must be the reason I was so burdened - but not to actually adopt myself. Especially with how long Derek and I have tried to get pregnant the subject has been a question people have often asked me about. "Would you consider adoption?" The answer was always "no." However, the answer now is still different than a simple "yes."

I still hope to someday bear a child from my own womb. But now I have been burdened with a knowledge that there are children already alive out in third world countries that are in orphanages and they are dying. Their parents are either dead or dying and unable to care for them. Their countries are unable to provide loving foster care or a government system to help them survive. They didn't ask to be born and left alone without family or loving care. They sit alone in orphanages starving for food and even more so for love.

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans..." ~James 1:27

My eyes and heart have now been opened to this reality and cannot be closed. Maybe someday I will bare a child with Derek's and my genes and maybe not. But regardless, I know there is a child out there that is meant to be our child, just born through a different means. And the crazy part about this whole situation is that God is already changing my heart to feel a strong love and a protectiveness over this child. I want the best for them and I want to protect them and hold them. I don't know if they are even born yet or when they will enter our lives - but I do know they will.

We are currently praying and fasting about when we should start the adoption process as well as where to adopt from. We both feel that it will most likely be sooner than later and are open to whatever God's plan is. We also feel like Ethiopia is most likely the place from where we will adopt. We would appreciate prayers about this so much as this is, and will continue to be, a huge growing experience for us both.

There are so many fears and grievances for me regarding this subject. I know God will take care of them but they are still there for now. One of the biggest grievances is the loss of the "Perfect-Comfortable-White Pickett Fence-American Dream-Life." I never realized I had this but through coming to the realization that adoption is in our future, I realized this loss was painful. I know that there will be hardships, questions, reactions from un-supportive people, and huge adjustments. I know that people will question us, our choices, and that even walking down the street our family will stand out. I will never again be able to hide from questions, stares, or judgment from others. Since coming to this realization that I even had this notion of "normalcy," however, I have also realized I don't ever want to think like that again. I want to stand out if that is what God has planned for us. Not just in looks but in how I live out my daily life. I want to experience everything God has for us, even the difficult and stretching parts. I want to live a Christ centered life and all that it entails. I want to have a Christ like love for all people - especially the meek and forgotten. Especially the poor and needy. I don't ever want to become so comfortable that I forget to care about others or put their needs before my own. Because that is what Jesus did for me and I pray I will do that for others. Not just in adopting an orphan but in everyday of my life towards all people. I want to make a difference in the lives of others. God changed my heart about adoption but I think that it is just the beginning in a long road of growing closer to Him and becoming more of the woman He created me to be.

"Abba, Father,' he said, 'everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will." ~Mark 14:36

Compassion

"...and whoever welcomes a little child like this in My name welcomes Me." -Matthew 18:5

For the past several weeks and maybe even months I have seen the title "Compassion" everywhere. I knew that it was a group you could sponsor a child through but never looked much into it. Through this struggle of not being able to get pregnant it has crossed my mind that there are other children out there needing the support both financially and emotionally that we could provide but I hesitated to look into it. It has been such an emotional and raw subject for me and at times almost unbearable. So I avoided looking at these children thinking it would put my emotional meter over the edge.

As much as I avoided looking into this group, however, the more I saw it. On my yahoo banner, facebook, other people's blogs, everywhere. I finally gave in and looked it up and felt a giant tugging on my heart for these precious little children. I talked with Derek and we decided to look at the website together. It's a feeling I can't explain really but it's a way that God squeezes my heart and speaks to me consistently and it's always followed by me crying. We happened upon a boy named Christopher who the website said had been waiting for a sponsor for over 6 months. I burst into tears and we decided he was the one. It so happens that he lives in Kenya with his grandmother. I don't know where his parents are or even if they are alive but I know that he does live in a very HIV/AIDS affected area and is very much in need.

I just received my packet of information about him today and it is just the most amazing thing to me that I can sit here wanting a child so much of my own, and across the world sits a child wanting someone to care for him so much. I know it's not like this child is mine but I do feel that this was a situation placed in front of me by God that I couldn't ignore any longer.

There are so many children in need out there and helping this one at least solves a problem for one. I'm so thankful God brought this to my attention so that I could be moved outside my world and refocus on God's plans. (I've attached a link below in case you'd like to look at the website!)

Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits - who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's. -Psalm 103:2-5

www.compassion.com